Would You Eat Meat Out of a Vending Machine? Just How Slow is Snail Mail?

Morning, friends. Today’s headlines include: a cow with wanderlust, a ghost of the postal service past, and someone trying to set a record for Halloween enthusiasm. Grab your coffee, it’s another day of delightful absurdities. — Doug Marlowe

The Oddly Enlightening

The Internet Can’t Agree on What Number They See

A black-and-grey swirl is driving social media wild, as users argue over which numbers are “hidden” in the pattern. Some see 528, others see chaos... both are probably right. Just another reminder that the internet can turn anything into a group therapy session for our eyes.

Traffic in Pennsylvania slowed to a moo-ving standstill after a runaway cow hit the highway. A cowboy on horseback appeared, because of course he did, and lassoed the bovine like it was a Tuesday. No one knows where the cow came from, but we can all agree: she was late for something.

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Time, Tradition & Tiny Miracles

A Postcard Arrives, Just a Century Late

A Michigan woman checked her mail and found a postcard mailed 100 years ago, proof that “snail mail” can take that phrase literally. No word on whether the sender used the right stamp, but you’ve got to hand it to the USPS: they always deliver, eventually.

In Ghana, funerals can be as vibrant as birthdays. Families commission hand carved “fantasy coffins” shaped like cars, animals, or even Coca-Cola bottles, anything that sums up a life well lived. If legacy is about making an impression, these folks have truly nailed it.

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When Life Gets Creative

One Man’s Quest to Be the King of Halloween

A Kentucky man’s Halloween decorations are so over-the-top, he’s aiming for a world record. Thousands of props, lights, and probably one very patient spouse make up his masterpiece. Some folks collect stamps; others summon nightmares for sport.

Germany has a new star on the culinary scene, sausage vending machines. They’re open 24/7, serve bratwurst and potato salad, and never ask if you want fries with that. Call it efficiency, call it art, either way, they’re wurst every penny.

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That’s the round-up. From cows to coffins, humanity continues to surprise. Which story made you shake your head the hardest? Hit reply, I promise to read between the sighs. — Doug