$400 in singles, and an indoor ski wheel

Some days the news feels like performance art. Today we’ve got a one-dollar bandit with big jail plans and a snow tunnel trying to reinvent gravity. You know, the usual. – Doug Marlowe

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Today's Stories

Man robs bank for $400 in singles, asks if he can keep the loot… for snacks in jail

In Ohio, a man with a plan (and not a great one) robbed a bank, walked off with $400 in $1 bills, and was swiftly arrested while strolling down the street. He’d changed outfits but not ambitions, asking police if he could hold onto the cash… to buy snacks in jail. The cops, unsurprisingly, said no. He’s now facing a robbery charge and presumably thinking through a new strategy for commissary shopping. Just a hunch, but next time he might want to start with a coupon.

An Australian startup thinks skiing should look a lot more like cardio day at the gym. Enter Snowtunnel: a giant spinning barrel meant to simulate skiing — without the mountains, snow, or dignity. CEO Scott Kessler says it's about bringing the slopes to the city. Which is perfect if you’ve ever dreamed of skiing inside a laundromat drum. It’s innovative sure, but it also makes a ski lift sound pretty relaxing.

Which of today’s headline moments made you laugh, cringe, or both? Hit reply — I’m reading every reply, possibly while spinning in a ski barrel. — Doug