These thieves are stealing chairs from restaurants

Chairs vanish, tortillas fly, and common sense takes a vacation. Just another day in the modern circus. Let’s see what made the cut. — Doug Marlowe

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Scenes from Planet Earth

Spain’s Most Wanted: Patio Furniture

Spanish authorities just wrapped up a crime spree involving, wait for it, more than 1,100 stolen chairs. Outdoor cafés from Valencia to Madrid were hit by the same bizarre theft ring. Police tracked down seven suspects and enough seating to start their own tapas empire. No word yet on matching tables. But hey, in a world of inflation, maybe plastic chairs are the new gold.

Texas Tech has a message for its football fans: quit chucking tortillas at kickoff. The tradition dates back decades, but the NCAA isn’t amused, and they’ve slapped a $100K fine on it. The school’s athletic director is pleading for peace, or at least fewer airborne carbs. Of all the ways to sabotage a season, “burrito collateral” wasn’t on my bingo card. Somewhere, a confused tortilla vendor is crying into his salsa.

Which one made you sigh into your coffee? I read every reply (while shaking my own head). — Doug