One man demands Vegemite. Another finds $800K in dirt. Today’s SMH writes itself.

Two slices of human behavior fresh out of the toaster: one legal sandwich, one golden surprise. Neither will restore your faith in humanity, but they might make your coffee taste smarter. – Doug Marlowe

Today's Stories

Inmate insists Vegemite is a human right

Some people fight for freedom. Others for dignity. One Australian inmate? He’s fighting for his right to smear Vegemite on toast. Citing the nation’s human rights charter, the man argued that being denied the salty brown paste was a violation of his cultural rights. Say what you will, but it takes guts to plead your case with a condiment.

A Frenchman went digging for a swimming pool and struck gold. Literal gold, worth around $800,000, just hanging out under his lawn. Authorities confirmed the treasure was legally acquired and quietly melted down years ago. No foul play, just a stroke of backyard luck. Meanwhile, the rest of us dig up rocks, roots, and the occasional sprinkler head.

So—gold in the garden, toast in the clink. Humanity, you never bore. Got a thought, a chuckle, or an existential sigh? Hit reply and let’s unpack the madness. — Doug