Elvis is in the court, and the dead aren’t staying put

Well, friends, the world kept busy again. We’ve got a temple surprise straight out of a movie and a courtroom that briefly doubled as Graceland. Nothing to panic about, but plenty to squint at and say, “Come on now.” Let’s get into it. — Doug Marlowe

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Today's Stories

Thailand temple gets a shock when a “dead” woman moves in her coffin

A 65-year-old woman in Thailand was brought to a temple for cremation, and then quite rudely for the schedule started moving inside her coffin. Staff heard knocking, opened it up, and found her blinking and shifting, very much alive. She was taken for care, and everyone involved will probably replay that moment in their heads forever. It matters because it’s a loud reminder: even solemn routines need real checks, not assumptions. Also, if you ever wondered whether life can hit the “undo” button at the last second, well… here you go.

A judge in Missouri liked Elvis so much that he wore a Presley wig in court and played the music during hearings. After complaints, he agreed to a deal: an unpaid suspension, then a short return, then he resigns. Supporters sent letters saying he’s a good person, which may be true, but the job still comes with rules. This matters because courts work on trust, and trust doesn’t do well with surprise costume changes. Somewhere, Elvis is smiling, and every courtroom clerk is sighing with relief.

If one of these made you laugh, groan, or do that slow head tilt thing, you’re not alone. Send me your favorite oddball headline and we’ll keep sorting through the mess together. Until next time, try to stay upright out there. — Doug