Not a fan of Doug? Unsubscribe here.
 

Sometimes the news writes itself. Other times, it grabs a can of whipped cream and hits the road. Either way, here’s what made us blink twice today. — Doug Marlowe


Sponsored Content

A New Signal Window Just Opened

Three names are entering the quiet phase—volume nudging higher, structures tightening, catalysts forming. Our brief drops in 24–48 hours with tickers and tracking steps.

📥 Tap Here for Free Alerts

By clicking the link above you agree to receive periodic updates from our sponsor.


Today's Stories

Police hunt $80K in stolen whipped cream. No, seriously.

$80K worth of whipped cream stolen from trailer: Guelph police

In Ontario, someone made off with a full trailer carrying $80,000 worth of whipped cream. The thief hitched the refrigerated haul and vanished like it was a Mission: Impossible dessert heist. Police are looking for leads, and probably wondering where you even fence that much dairy fluff. Maybe it’s the world’s most chaotic bake sale. Or maybe someone just really, really likes sundaes.

What Happened

School employee swipes $45K, bets it on cigarettes and slot machines

In Indiana, a school music program lost its rhythm when a staff member allegedly funneled $45K into slots and smokes. The boosters fund, meant for marching bands, not blackjack, quietly vanished over time. Authorities say the culprit kept detailed records… of her gambling losses. It’s one thing to steal from kids. It’s another to do it with that little imagination.

Dive In

Got a favorite forehead slapper? Hit reply and let me know. — Doug

Keep Reading

No posts found